You are so strong even right now you can't see it; you're able to withstand any storm that comes your way. I know you've been through a lot from abandonment, bereavement, and not being loved the way you should be loved. I hope you can see that you're going to get every blessing under the sun. I need you to stop comparing yourself to people. I need you to start focusing on yourself, to start watering yourself: from the inside out. I need you to start owning your light. You are God's child and intrinsically you are a work of art even though most people will fail to realize it. you've always been just fine by yourself; you never needed their attention nor do you require it. Keep your head up and keep pushing forward.
Suffering:
Things will get better, and I know that life isn't fair; you have to start looking at this life as a blessing and NOT a curse. God gave you a blank canvas and free will to create something beautiful and meaningful. I love that you have big dreams and naturally you fear rejection especially when the rejection comes from the people who are supposed to have your back. Just remember you don't need to fear anything on this earth because "no weapon formed against you will never ever prosper", you are God's child, and once you start believing that with your entire heart and soul, every blessing and everything good will be yours.
Friendship:
You are not an island and you deserve to be surrounded by love, light, and happiness. that doesn't mean that you should surround yourself with a multitude of different people. Start by seeing the world as a glass that is half full and ask yourself: "How can I fill my cup without having to worry about every little thing that could go wrong?" Honestly, start by being a friend to yourself first. Don't worry about people, don't watch people, and stop focusing on things and people that aren't worthy of you and God's purpose for your life.
Purpose:
If in times of anxiety and doubt, I want you to repeat after me: My life is marked by God, He already gave me favor, and all I have to do is believe in myself and claim the blessings I already have the ones that are coming my way.
